if there is anyone in my family who has a pang-maalaala mo kaya kwento or life-story, it would definitely be both my parents. not a lot of people actually know who they are or what they've went through so i decided to write about them now. i find their lives so interesting that it sometimes becomes a topic in my daydreaming sessions -- thinking about how i would turn out if i had lived during their time and had gone through what they had, etc. hehe.
dad
the "main" ben cabigas (because there are 5 of us). his real name is benito and was born on new year's eve almost 58 years ago at a small barrio called camarao in narvacan, ilocos sur. camarao is the stereotypical northern philippine barrio wherein there are rice and corn fields dotted with small clusters of houses. my dad's house was also a typical two-storey, old filipino house made mostly of wood with matching sliding windows made of capiz shells. within walking distance of his house is a small church, a mini-plaza, and... a river. oh diba, barrio na barrio. this is the environment he grew up in.
his father was a soldier in ww2 who survived the death march but was murdered a few years after when my dad was just at pre-teen age. this forced his mother, a public school teacher, to work twice as hard to raise 5 kids with her measly salary and the pension she got for being the widow of a soldier. tragedy and hardship -- this is the kind of situation he was in while growing up.
my dad studied hard and was actually a bright young kid, being a valedictorian in grade school. this allowed him to finish high school early and thus enter college early. so at the young age of 15 or 16, he did what most of the kids that time did: travel by yourself to manila and enter college. he studied metallurgical engineering at mapua and after around 8 years, inclusive of a two-year hiatus spent in davao because of his 'pagbabarkada', he graduated from college and immediately entered the mining industry.
he transferred from one mining/engineering-related company to another and along the way met my mom and got married. one of the most important turning points in his life was when he decided to put up his own company back in 1993 with the risk of losing a stable flow of finances that had to support a young family with 5 kids (us). thankfully enough, that company is still up and running until now and continues to allow us and our employees' families to live relatively comfortable lives.
now, my dad still works for the same company, going to work right before lunch simply because he can. then he usually leaves at around 5pm. haha. talk about a 5-7 hour work day. retirement and succession is starting to become an issue so that's why my brother and sister now work for him with our younger brother on the way to becoming an engineer like my dad.
from a poor father-less boy in a barrio, my dad managed to get a college degree, put up his own company, and raise a family of seven. and now that i am at the brink of starting a career, i can only hope or dream of achieving even half of what he has.
mom
if my dad had a barrio with a river, my mom had the exact opposite. she had cebu city. as in buildings, paved roads, and post-war urban sprawls. in case you guys don't know, cebu city may be in a province but it has had urban modernities since 19-kopong kopong. my mom, named maria teresa, lived in the 'old' section of cebu city, comparable to the recto/escolta area of manila. it can't get more urban than that.
the most important aspect of my mom's life in cebu was that she, together with her mother and 3 sisters, all worked as meat vendors in a cebu city market called carbon, the biggest public market in cebu city. these women all took turns with their business from buying pigs from the hog farmers to actually selling the meat in the market while at the same time attempting to fulfill their duties in school. my mom tells us that she usually dealt with the hog farmers and that she would drive a small owner-type jeepney to transport the pigs/meat. this started her 'driving' career in our family since i consider her to be the best driver in the world. haha.
unlike my dad, they weren't really poor since their business was able to provide well enough for their needs. they had a nice home and even had one of the first television sets in their neighborhood. they would sometimes make the tv set face the window so their neighbors could also watch tv from outside their house. haha. my mom was also able to study at a nice school since childhood, the university of san carlos.
tragedy, however, has always been present in her side of the family. my mom's father died of a heart attack in their home. she even told me once that while froth was coming out of her father's mouth due to the heart attack, her father died in her arms. she never really mentions it. her elder brother also died while she was a baby after getting stabbed inside the market. they also almost lost all their possessions when their house burned down.
mom and dad met when my dad was assigned at cebu city for his work. what's funny, my dad was the boss and my mom was the secretary. naks, hanep sa work environment! then at a young age of 23, my mom got married and raised 5 kids.
over the years, she has studied interior design at psid, has worked for my dad at our company, and built a new house for the family. up to now, i've never seen or met anyone who can 'do' the market like she can since, when buying meat or fish, she can distinguish the good from the great by just looking at it. she has dreamed many dreams, for herself and for her family, but has accepted to forego with some of these for her duties as wife and mother, which she has been great at.
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my parents are my heroes, teachers, providers, anchors and inspiration. their lives have given us siblings lessons while we live our own lives. they've taught us to value what we have now and to understand the importance of hardwork and humility, among many others. i'd love to write about who they are as people but that alone seems impossible because the depth of their characters is too immense to be boxed-in by words.
my parents' lives are not the type you would read in a magazine or in the newspaper or even see get featured on tv. there's really nothing extraordinary about it. in fact, their lives are very simple. but in the story book of my life, no story has ever been greater than the ones told, and are still being told, by these two great people... who have been living simple lives.
blogger's note: for some reason, it is almost impossible to get a decent photo of my parents together. they celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary last october 22.
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