Sunday Afternoon

Spending a few hours of my precious Sunday afternoon TV-time watching The Apprentice Asia certainly got me thinking about my professional career.

I started out as an eager fresh graduate back in 2005 raring to conquer the professional world.  At that time, all my batchmates had been working for roughly two years already because of my, err, extended stay in college.  So at the back of my head, I really did want to catch up - very typical of any young graduate who just wants to compete with his other friends so as not to look too left behind in the proverbial rat race.

I decided to work in a call center and leverage my newly acquired Spanish-language skills thanks to a few years of Spanish classes at Instituto Cervantes.  I managed to clinch a job that paid me relatively higher than most fresh grads because of my foreign language capability.  The job was fairly simple and it's safe to say that I was pretty good at it.

Fate then decided that I knock on the world's doors.

While browsing through the Sunday classifieds of the Manila Bulletin one day, a small, inconspicuous ad caught my attention.  It said that some company was looking for someone who could speak Spanish and that the job will be in Malaysia.  Without knowing the name of the company or the details of the job, what the heck, I sent my CV.  My phone rang the next day and the person asked me if I was free for a phone interview later in the day.  A few weeks after that phone call, I was on a plane with a one-way ticket to Kuala Lumpur.

The chapter of my life spent in Malaysia is a story on its own.  It was there where I truly grew up and lived the life I had wanted.  Free.  Independent.  Traveled around as much as I could.  Sort of fell in love.  Spent my own money on things I used to not afford.  All this, just months after I graduated from college.  I went into that chapter of my life hungry for achievement.  And I did achieve.  Work showered me with awards and accolades.  I got the trainings I wanted and received the experience I knew was making me carve the right path to success.  Like any guy in his early twenties, I sought out success and boy did I yearn for it!  I was sure that I had caught up with my peers and had even overtaken all my competitive friends who had a two-year head start.

Then came the text message.

It was from my mother.  Paraphrased, it said that my father was sick, that he didn't have much time left, and that I should go home.  This was shortly before Christmas.  Since I really had booked a flight to spend the holidays in Manila that year, I held off telling my boss that I had to quit my job and decided to see things for myself.  Nevertheless, I knew my time in Malaysia was about to end.

I don't remember that Christmas too much.  News like that kind of destroys all the joy and merriness associated with late December.  I do remember though, that once I returned to Malaysia, I was sure that I wanted to quit my job.  My career.  The life I always wanted.  Three months into the new year, I was staring at three years of my life stuffed into two balikbayan boxes and other pieces of luggage.

I was going home.

The next ten months were, ironically, glorious days.  I decided to stay unemployed for a length of time to make up for the lost time with my father.  His condition during those days is a separate narration altogether.  Thanks to some savings, unemployment suited me quite well.  Now that I look back at it, it was during that time when I was spending hours and hours at home with my parents that my mindset on what work should be started to change.

Seeing my funds slowly dwindling, the practical choice had to be made - I needed to work again.  I was ready to start over that time and I decided to be really open to other areas.  I remember applying for a job in a resort in Palawan.  In another call center.  In a real-estate firm.  In a government agency.  I took every opportunity that I felt good about and just tried my luck.  At the end of it, I chose a job that kind of paid well but most of all, gave me the work-life balance that I longed for.

It was a stress-free job that did not exactly put me in a position that people my age at that time wanted to be in.  It was an entry-level job.  It was low responsibility.  But it was exactly what I wanted.  I spent two years of my career there knowing it wouldn't exactly lead me to the path of future CEO or a late-twenties hotshot but for some reason, I knew it was what was best for me.

Then things started to change when opportunities started presenting itself again.  After a weekend of thinking, I found myself quitting that job to work in a large multinational company in a role that would be responsible for more than a few important things.

That's my job now.

So this afternoon, after watching episodes upon episodes of The Apprentice Asia thanks to a scheduled marathon on TV, I could not help but look back on what I've gone through so far in relation to my professional life.

I spent hours today watching a show that have real people with real experiences, and who have a real desire to achieve and be successful.  The people in the show reminded me of me... years ago.  People who use a lot of big words.  Achieve.  Successful.  Driven.  Passionate.  Words that I used to believe in and wanted to embody.  Used to.

Today, I realized that I am no longer that person.  I am no longer someone who seeks competition and aims to beat his peers.  I no longer want to be someone who would become CEO.  I no longer am the person who wants to achieve great things in the work place.

It made me realize that talking to my boss two weeks ago, telling him that I wanted a new role that is no longer like the one I have, was really what I feel is true.  What I feel I really need.  What I feel I really desire.  I've been spending countless hours working this past two years thinking that I should excel and that I should fulfill my responsibilities as much as I can and as well as I could.  True, I should because it would unprofessional to do so.  And I have, actually.

However, working to excel and achieve should not be at the expense of certain things that I hold dear.  My non-negotiables.  The reason why I can easily decide to let go of the life I had always wanted after just one text message from my mother.

Spending a few hours of my precious Sunday afternoon TV-time certainly got me thinking that I should start to live my life the way that I should.